Day 35

I dare you to not pull a "Ben".

I have sort of a massive jumble of being confused and being happy and scared and nervous and tired and happy (yes I realize I added that twice) going on in my head right now.
I have started seeing my ex again. I know I know. I realize that most of the time that never works out. But who knows.When we were together, I was super happy and our break up came out of no where. I thought everything was good and going smoothly and then he showed up at my house one day and brought me donuts, told me I was not the one and walked away. My feeling at the time was, "Of course I am not the one. We barely know each other yet." But we both walked away, and it took a while for us to speak to each other again. But just recently we decided to meet up for dinner and he told me how much he missed me and how stupid he was for breaking up with me. Well DUH!!!!!!!!!!!! I know I am a catch. But seriously.
He told me that he wanted to work on our relationship the right way and start out as a stronger friend bond and go from there. So I agreed and we have been talking. But then he asked me to be his date to a dinner at a fairly fancy restaurant with his coworkers and their wives. Four days after Valentines Day. I know that it isn't Valentines Day but still that doesnt seem like a just friends thing to me. And then last night he and I were talking and he called me "baby girl". Ok. Terms of endearment are nice or whatever, but that is not something you call your friends. I don't care who you are. So I have a feeling that things are heading in a different direction than was originally planned. We have dinner plans tonight so I am hoping that we can talk and kind of figure out where everything is sitting.
I know that I was really happy with him and he crushed me when we broke up. But I still cant help but be smiling. For no reason. I am just happy again. What scares me is this is exactly what I felt like the first time around and I dont want to let it effect me as much. I want to be in control. But what can I say? He makes me happy.

Also, I am pretty sure I forgot to blog yesterday, which means it is my first missed day. But I was spending the day with my sister and her kids so I consider it excusable.