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Sunday, April 8, 2012

Day 76

So I have clearly not been doing the blogging as much lately as I wanted to. But I have been feeling like my posts are repetitive. I am sick of just venting. I dont want to come across as a negative person.
Things for me lately have been emotionally going up wards. Which is a really nice change. I could use a better job with more money so that I could get my financial stability back on track but at least for right now things are starting to look up.
I found a four leaf clover wannabe today. I feel like that is a sign of good luck. And I could really use that.
My support team lately has been awesome! I have a great family who I get to see a lot. And I have really gotten some signs of who my real friends are lately. There are some people that I always thought would be part of my life and they are starting to drift away. Which is sad but it is ok. Because I have a lot of people that stand by me and show up right when I need them. I have discovered being a part of peoples lives is not as easy as I used to think it was. But the people that honestly let you in, are the only ones you really need.
The next couple weeks are going to be insanely busy but good for my soul. I am so excited to have vacation time and spend time with family.
Things seem to be going well right now. Keep the good luck flowing!

Friday, March 30, 2012

Day 75

I am on such a high right now. I love it. I feel so bubbly.
I have some pretty amazing people in my life. And it comes down to having bad things happen with people that you thought you could trust to make you figure out who deserves your energy.
My weekend is only half way over right now and I have spent the last couple days with some truly awesome people who genuinely like to be around me simply because of who I am.
Today I spent the day with Janessa, Chino, and Aiden. This is becoming sort of a routine things for Fridays. I love it though. Janessa is hands down one of my closest friends in Portland. She is not afraid to tell me her opinion of things even when she disagrees with something I do. Chino and I have sibling rivalry going on. And Aiden is my baby fix. He is such and awesome kid and he helps me to re focus and not think about things.
Then I had dinner with Liz. Liz and I have not seen each other for almost a year. And between the two of us tonight, there was not a second of silence. We completely understand each other and she doesnt judge me because she knows that I am not judging her. We can completely open up to each other and vent things out that other people may not understand.
Tomorrow I am having lunch with Lauren and her daughter. Lauren and I have some strange connection. For whatever reason we need each other. Again, its a trust because we know that the we are not judging each other. We have both made mistakes in our lives and we love each other just the same.
Then Sunday will be spent with the family.
I have been spending time with my awesome friends since Wednesday night and I have been so happy.
I am freaking high on life right now!

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Day 74

Oh my goodness I am exhausted tonight.
Today was insanely busy but it was all good. It started yesterday actually. I had a sleepover with my Rosenip and then spent the day with my momma and then work and then dinner with my brother in law and then home to fold laundry and head to bed.
I cleaned my room yesterday because I was expecting to have people at my house but instead went to her house. So coming home tonight was nice because my room is super clean and organized. That is why I stayed up a little later to fold laundry. I want it to stay clean.Next project is my car. I want that to be clean and organized also.
I am so ready to have a nice day with good people again tomorrow also.
I went so long without a social life that I feel like this weekend is so much. But its good too. You find out who you're friends are.
Also. Two weeks till I get to see my family!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Day 73

Oh boy. I have missed a few days. I have not had much to talk about.  I am kind of in a funk as far as my attitude and my groove for everyday stuff goes.
I did find out that our squatter is finally going to start paying rent. So that will be good.
I am actively on the hunt for a better job. I am sick of working part time. I need something more reliable and even though I know jobs are stressful I need something that is different than the stressful politics I am dealing with now.
Oh well. Here is to starting back at the bottom and working my way back up.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Day 72

I stood up for myself today. For the first time ever I told someone exactly what I thought of them. And what they had done to me. I didn't hold back. And I didn't cry. I didn't back down.
By the end I received multiple apologies. A few " you are 100% right". And I stated my opinion on the shit business they run.
I am still calling the health department. The things that are happening there are unsafe for a lot of humans to eat.
I feel good. I feel like I can go to sleep tonight knowing that I did what I could and I didn't sacrifice my emotion and lack of guts for anything. I gave someone the tongue lashing they deserved and didnt let them walk all over me.
I am extremely exhausted and I feel like I ran a marathon. But I feel like I did exactly what needed to be done.
And again... I am still turning them in.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Day 71

So for the first time in my life, I got fired today. For no reason. I got fired for asking my boss to answer a question for me. Its really frustrating because I know that I was doing way more for their business than anyone else there. But I have peace in knowing that shit is going to hit the fan there now that I am gone. If I was the only one cleaning then the manager, who is the laziest person alive, is certainly not going to pick up where I left off.
But at least I know that I did nothing wrong. And karma is inevitable.
I am just going to call the necessary people to make sure that they are not off the hook. Plus, I will remove as much business from them as I can.
The business goes against so many health codes its not even funny.
No sanitary prep stations
Using sponges to wash dishes
Not replacing the sponges very often
Using expired product
Not regulating the temps of the machines
Keeping bags of trash in the kitchen
Not sanatizing sinks
Not changing toppings when they get others mixed in
Not throwing out re run product before it goes sour
Not cleaning the drains of the machines and letting them fill with sour dairy product
Will not showering before work and smelling like weed
Not sending employees home when they are coughing and sneezing

Just to name a few

And also for running two businesses its pretty impressive that they would suggest to pay me under the table. it is my own fault for excepting that but its not going to come back well on them. Also making their employees work eight hour shifts with out any breaks.

The communication is horrible. They wont even respond to phone calls or texts from employees and are not mature enough to have a meeting with an employee first.

But... this too shall pass and karma will take them down.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Day 70

It is snowing right now. It makes me miss Colorado a lot. Along with a lot of other things. I miss the days of climbing over snow drifts and breaking icicles off roofs to suck on them. I miss making snow tunnels and caves. Being decked out in ridiculous amounts of snow gear and coming into the house hours later drenched and frozen. Then the next day pulling our some what stiff snow clothes of the hearth for another day of digging extravagant tunnels.
I miss skiing. The taste of frozen m&ms always reminds me of ski days.

I was ready to get a break from the snow when I moved here. Now I very much miss it. I miss pretty much everything about it. I also miss the fact that people in Colorado can handle driving in the snow. Where, the people here think that driving in the rain is scary but the snow is the same as dry. Wrong.

I sat in the snow for over an hour this evening. Just letting it fall on me. It is very therapeutic. It was refreshing to have something other than rain falling on me.

"Let the rain fall down and wake my dreams. Let it wash away my sanity. Because I want to feel the thunder, I want to scream. Let the rain fall down. I am coming clean."